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Why Don't You Do Your Job (Offspring Parody) - SteelChords

by SteelChords

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about

I didn't want to go full public with all the troubles and problems I've faced since the beginning of the year (literally), but State Farm has forced my hand, and I've had enough. I'm gonna get even with them.

On the morning of January 1st, 2018, I was driving home on the freeway in the far left lane at about 5:30am, when I saw ahead of me a recently wrecked car stopped sideways in my lane. Seeing this ahead of time, I slowed down, put my hazard lights on, and stopped with roughly 20-30 feet between my car and the car that had wrecked.

As I started to get out of my car, the driver of the wrecked car (let's call him Person A) began crawling out of his front passenger side door, walked 5 steps towards my car, and collapsed in the road between our two cars. I noticed he had a large gash on his forehead, and was bleeding from his mouth.

Immediately recognizing this was an emergency situation, I quickly dialed 911 and confirmed with them that paramedics were being sent out to our location. While I was doing this, an off duty fire fighter saw our situation, pulled ahead of the accident, parked and came back towards us to try and help as well.

After hanging up with 911, we started trying to do whatever we could to keep Person A awake and responsive until the paramedics could get there and render aid.

Person A was shivering uncontrollably on the ground, so in an attempt to try and help him stay warm, I laid the jacket I was wearing over his torso, and ran back to my car to grab my spare jacket. Once I got back, Person A got my attention and asked me if I could search through his car to try and find his cell phone, as he likely wanted to call family or friends at that moment.

So I ran over to his driver's door, which was facing away from oncoming traffic, pried open the jammed door, and began to scan the area for his cell phone. I noticed that the air bag in the steering wheel had been deployed, the windshield had been cracked and there was a lot of shrapnel scattered on the seats and floors, but I couldn't see anything resembling a cell phone.

So, I decided to check the back seat. I leaned back out of the driver's door, closed the door as best I could and turned to go to the back door. But when I turned and looked over the roof of the wrecked car, I saw what looked like the back end of MY car being thrust into the air.

And from there my memory blacks out. Everything after that I've read from the police report.

As it happened, a Black Chevy Malibu, driven by Person B, came up on the accident at about speed limit speeds, which were roughly 70-75mph, and rammed into the back of my car. The impact shoved my car forward, presumably crushing and ultimately killing Person A who was still collapsed on the road. This also shoved my car into the wrecked car I was standing next to, which was shoved into me, launching me backwards down the freeway. The impact to my car also ruptured my gas tank, which set all 3 cars involved on fire, where they would eventually burn up into nothing but ashes.

The off duty fire fighter managed to escape injury by jumping over the median into the Express Lane nearby, and the driver of the Malibu, Person B, was checked and released at the scene with no external injuries. I however woke up with paramedics surrounding me, who eventually loaded me in an ambulance and took me to a nearby hospital, where I was treated for:

A large gash in the back left side of my head, which required 14 staples
A concussion
A shattered right thumb, which required 7 weeks in a hard cast and 4 weeks of physical therapy
A broken nose
A mildly separated shoulder
And several burns and abrasions on but not limited to, my left wrist, my left hip, my right knuckles and several other places.

FAST FORWARD TO TODAY MARCH 28TH, 3 MONTHS LATER.

We call and have a conversation with State Farm and their claims department, with them telling us that they've found me 50/50 responsible for the accident that took place, along with Person B. That's right, the man who was just trying to help out his fellow citizen, was found half guilty of the accident that resulted in Person A's death. After hearing the story that I've told you, does this sound like a fair conclusion? It doesn't to me. That's why me and my family have hired a lawyer and we plan to take them to court if they continue to pull the bullshit that they are pulling.

I know I can't do much to fight this injustice, but I can make music, so that's what I decided to do, and that's the story behind this track. So thank you State Farm. If you wanna take the knife out of my back at any time, you're more than welcome to it.

lyrics

My friend's got insurance
Man he hates their shit
He tells me everyday

He says man I really
Wanna sink their ship
In the worst kind of way

He's shoved to his ass
Cause they won't give him a loan
To get him through his recovery

And they ain't doin nothin
While he's stuck at home
Well my friend, you gotta say

I won't pay, I won't pay
No way
Na na why don't you do your job
Say no way, say no way
No way
Na na why don't you do your job

It's been 3 fucking months
Since he was struck on the road
By a Black Malibu Chevy

He's spent 3 fucking months
Out suffering alone
And you still wanna make him wait

I won't pay, I won't pay
No way
Na na why don't you do your job
Say no way, say no way
No way
Na na why don't you do your job

Well I guess it ain't easy leaving clients to fall, oh yeah
But hey man we still need a fucking car, every day

My friend's been pushed too far
By all your bullshit
He tells me everyday
He's gone and lawyered up
Cause you threw him in the pit
So bitch, hell's gonna come your way

I won't pay, I won't pay
No way
Na na why don't you do your job
Say no way, say no way
No way
Na na why don't you do your job

I won't give you my money
You're kidding me
Na na why don't you do your job
Say no way, say no way
No way
Na na why don't you do your job

credits

released March 28, 2018
Thanks to The Offspring for the original "Why Don't You Get A Job"
Very Special Thanks to State Farm and their claim "specialist" for inspiring this lovely song.

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SteelChords Dallas, Texas

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